By Jenny Brown | Parent Hope Blog 

Next month, Australia will introduce a ground-breaking law: a mandatory minimum age of 16 for accounts on certain social media platforms. It comes into effect by 10 December 2025, and parents will not be able to give consent for under-16s to use these platforms.

Our E-Safety commissioner provides this link with resources to help families prepare, and they’re well worth exploring. I’d add a few guiding principles for parents as we all navigate this new partnership between government, schools, and families.

Many parents tell me they simply don’t know where to start in the digital world, and despite their good intentions, they’ve slipped into cycles that pull them and their children apart. They end up exasperated, and young people miss out on the grounded guidance they need.

Other parents feel somewhat helpless and risk stepping into this new era with the unrealistic hope that government laws alone will manage their children’s addictive screen use.

Here are a few of my reflections from a family systems perspective to give you some grounding and confidence as you find your way forward.

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1. Prioritise Relationship Over Rules

Where are we investing our energy—as parents and as leaders in our homes?
The real work is thinking about how we want to show up to our children, not how to force compliance.

This new law gives us an opportunity for age-appropriate, non-preachy conversations. Share your thinking about why this matters and what being a responsible parent looks like to you. Invite your kids’ thoughts, too—about the intentions behind the restrictions and what they notice in their own online worlds.

Let this be a point of connection, not correction. Parents lead by initiating real conversation, not by wielding rulebooks.

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2. Principles Over Policing

What values do we hold about cultivating healthy relationships with screens? How do we want to live those values—not just talk about them?

Consider:

• What does this law have in common with what we already believe about the “real world” vs. the often vacuous, isolating, and manipulative spaces online?
• How do we model our own boundaries, purpose, and self-regulation?

We don’t need to become enforcers of the state. Instead, we can express appreciation for the government’s support in protecting children while staying clear-eyed: older, tech-savvy kids will find workarounds. Naming this shows our kids that we’re not naïve—and that our focus is on living our principles, not chasing them around the house with monitoring software.

Anxious enforcement breeds reactivity, conflict, avoidance, and secrecy. Calm, value-driven leadership lowers intensity and makes openness possible.

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3. Leadership Over Lecturing

Once we’re clearer on preserving connection and living out our values around helpful and unhelpful screen use, the task is to step up as leaders. Not our children’s friends—but not pressure merchants either.

Lecturing sparks eye-rolls, shutdown, or quiet defiance. Leadership starts by recognising the reality of the relationship:

• If our children have grown to respect our steady, loving leadership, we’re in a strong position to be clear about expectations and follow through.
• If we’ve under-parented in the digital space—and many of us have—we start with honesty and small steps. We name the under-functioning, and we show how we intend to step up.

That begins with our own example: what we’re willing to change in our digital habits. Then we make a couple of concrete adjustments within our control—ones that don’t drag us into power struggles—such as setting boundaries on Wi-Fi availability or reconsidering which streaming or gaming services we fund.

Fear pushes us into urgent, over-talking “fix-it-now” mode. Thoughtful leadership stays paced and grounded. It keeps sight of the bigger picture: children growing slowly and steadily in maturity, wisdom, and their capacity to manage themselves.

Dr Jenny Brown

The Parent Hope Project