Episode Description
Hope Beyond Repair:
Parenting Foster and Adoptive Children Without the Pressure to Fix
A conversation with a family systems leadership coach, pastor, and foster and adoptive parent Michael DeRuyter about parenting children who have joined our families through fostering and adoption—and why these lessons matter for every parent.
Drawing on both professional expertise and lived experience, we discuss the powerful pull to “repair” our children through doing more—more services, more interventions, more effort—and why this anxious overfunctioning can sometimes undermine the very relationships we’re trying to strengthen.
Together, we explore a different lens on parenting children with disrupted attachment histories and experiences of trauma. Rather than focusing primarily on repairing the child, we consider how a parent’s calm, non-anxious presence, thoughtful leadership, and capacity to resist overparenting can create the conditions for growth, resilience, and connection. Bowen Family Systems Theory offers a hopeful perspective on remaining steady in the face of anxiety, supporting children without becoming consumed by the pressure to fix.
While this conversation is grounded in the experience of fostering and adoption, its insights are relevant to every parent seeking to lead their family with greater calm, wisdom, and hope. Whether you’re a foster or adoptive parent, a professional working with families, or simply curious about parenting through a Bowen Family Systems lens, you’ll find practical wisdom and fresh perspective for staying grounded when the pressure to “do more” feels overwhelming.
Our Approach | The Leader’s Journey
Michael interviewing Jenny Brown in recent Podcast
